I was a very shy child, often feeling different and of less value compared to other people. I was the youngest in both my nuclear family and among my cousins.
There was a widespread attitude of condescension, paternalism, and overvaluation, similar to how we often treat pets. These deviations, which undermine the principle of equality, left me with a contradictory legacy of devaluation and arrogance. Furthermore, I carry the bias of growing up in a Latin American country, where the culture values women for the sexual pleasure they can offer men.
These distorted perceptions accompanied me over the years, taking deep root and influencing many of my mistakes and challenges in life, as it is only recently that I have taken responsibility to recognize and correct them in alignment with God’s principles.
Although my childhood and adolescence did not seem marked by overt sexualization — having had my first kiss only at the age of 18 and my first sexual experience around the age of 22, already in Brazil — I was the target of sexual harassment/abuse during that period by men around me: my brother, cousins, family friends, and even one of my sister’s boyfriends.
Without understanding the true meaning of self-love or loving others, and desperate for validation from both men and women, I ended up putting myself in numerous high-risk situations, causing and experiencing a great deal of pain in my relationships.